A sales email that makes you want to book NOW!

(SPECULATIVE)

click to expand rewrite sample

The why

A rewrite of the original email to speak more directly to the reader and create greater urgency.

The how

 

  • Subject line is easily scanned and feels like the email is doing the target a favor by reminding them about the sales they're interested in. 

  • Offer (prices and deadline) is up front to help the target scan read. 

  • Tone is personal, cuts to the chase.  

  • Plays on primary emotion greed as a key motivator: “save 20% on hotels”, “get Europe all to yourself”, “Canadian dollars go further”, “new experiences for far far less $$$”.

  • Starts and ends with an emotional call-to-action; “escape” and “hurry”.

  • Provides other solutions to escaping winter, agitates them, offers Europe as the real solution to escaping crowds and the cold.

  • Shows rather than tells; conjures up images of European treats (hot springs, Belgian hot chocolate and more).