A sales email that makes you want to book NOW!
click to expand rewrite sample
A rewrite of the original email to speak more directly to the reader and create greater urgency.
Subject line is easily scanned and feels like the email is doing the target a favor by reminding them about the sales they're interested in.
Offer (prices and deadline) is up front to help the target scan read.
Tone is personal, cuts to the chase.
Plays on primary emotion greed as a key motivator: “save 20% on hotels”, “get Europe all to yourself”, “Canadian dollars go further”, “new experiences for far far less $$$”.
Starts and ends with an emotional call-to-action; “escape” and “hurry”.
Provides other solutions to escaping winter, agitates them, offers Europe as the real solution to escaping crowds and the cold.
Shows rather than tells; conjures up images of European treats (hot springs, Belgian hot chocolate and more).